Hey! I know what you're thinking! "Axe and/or/possibly Alex! You haven't posted a video in almost a year and NOW you're going to make a blog post about you taking a bath?!" YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT! Now follow me to this literally awesome experience!
Today is my "Friday" of my work week as in TA DA weekend is here! Lots of enjoyable, yet tolling stress comes with my job, so I decide to draw a bath, put on some music, and browse Reddit as I ate a few of those new gummy Jolly Rancher gusher bites (which btw are absolutely amazing! Like seriously get some)! All and all a nice way to end a week and kick off a weekend. After an uncertain amount of time, I flicked down the drain release, but for some reason didn't leave the tub. Instead I sat there, listening and watching it slowly drain. Instantaneously an unusual thought passed through my mind: What if the draining water represented the time left in my life? Surely passing from life to death is not always so predictable nor peaceful, but none the less my closest comparison drew from laying in my death bed. To my surprise, my mind grasped this thought with full realism. The water had just started to drain and remained at a relatively high level. "Well, here it is," I immediately thought in an accepting tone , "I guess I always knew this was going to happen. But I suppose you don't really want to think about it until you're face to face with it." The tub continued to slowly lower. "Well... was it worth it?" I asked myself, "Did I do anything worth while? Will I be remembered? Honestly... probably not. I mean, I don't even know the names of my great-grandparents or what they did. Realistically, in a generation's time or so, my name will just fade out. But I suppose almost all of us share that. That's okay though, because I care more about the mark I made. I worked a lot, but I did it to help make those close to me feel more comfortable and be a reliable symbol to those who need me. And with that time, I made people laugh, I made them smile, I made them feel happy if only for a conversation. And all that always put a smile on my face." Then, Youtube popped into my head. I had done all those things for thousands of people around the world. It was a beautiful humbling and I felt beyond proud of it. Proud that I took a shot at something I believed in during my life that brought even a glimpse of happiness to unfathomable people who each had their own joys and struggles inside. And in the end, that all must count for something. The tub was about a third full now. I thought of my girlfriend, my family, my hypothetical wife and children. I thought about religion and the meaning of existence. And most importantly, I thought of the moments that were only for my mind to capture. Those moments where the beauty of life and love intersect with your core. Those moments of living memory that you never want to lose. As the bath drained to my heels, I felt my fear become overrun by an inner happiness as a surreal silence flowed over my thoughts. From it, one clear message spoke through: Perhaps there is no true meaning to life, but how grateful I am that I lived for one. I looked down to see the water drain away it's last and as I awaited my next adventure, the final drop fell down the drain and a somber realization echoed. Somewhere, someone had just passed through that threshold. Someone had just experienced that, except they couldn't stand up and walk out. It was all so mournful. I silently wished that individual safe and meaningful travels.
In the end, we all live with hopes and ambitions that don't always soar as high as we wish, but there is meaning in all those attempts. Finding acceptance and happiness in one's self is an incredible gift that we should always strive for. And finally, the connections we make with one another go beyond a simple chat. Every glance, word, smile, and tear are an array of intersecting lives that are all looking for meaning. Through love, laughter, and pain, we find comfort and warmth in one another. And those bonds are the ones I truly cherished. Not bad for a bath.
